Hi there ha

wow so much for keeping up with this blog. complete fail lol. hmm well i want to start this again. i've pretty much loss all my friends so i'm gonna start venting here cause 1 the people that i dont want reading what i'm writing wont because they have no idea unless some one says something which will really suck cause then i wont have anywhere to vent. so yeahh this will be my only out. how has everyone been doing? good i hope. i deleted my facebook a couple months ago lol. but dont worry i plan on coming back. maybe at the end of the month or something i dont know. i have what seems like permanent guests in my house...my cousin's in laws and bats. yes BATS! lol. i wish they would leave so that we dont have to do anything to them =[ school has been okayy. a little hectic but nothing i cant handle. next semester though is gonna be killer. that's all for now. be back later! lol

it's been a while

so i completely forgot about this...well i didnt forget but i just didnt bother to come on here. i've been through so much lately but i'm gonna get back into blogging. i wanna document the things that are happening in my life. because my memory is just shit these days hahaa. well for starters i'm no longer blonde. yes it's very sad. i got a boyfriend woooo. lol. he's white. OMG. hahaa. but yeahh that's a brief update of my life...it doesnt say much but whatever. yeahh, so i'm gonna be on here everyday babbling again. hope you guys will enjoy =]

hello darlings

i'm not doing too good of a job with this whole blog thing lol. but i try my best and that's what matters most. well this weekend was pretty rad. spent most of my time with logan and ashleigh of course hahaa. loveeee them to DEATH. life has kinda been hectic lately. but that's a good thing i guess. keeps my mind off of some things. i finally set up my fish tank today. but it's only temporary until i get a bigger tank because a 1 gallon tank is NOT gonna do it. i feel like there's so much to say. but nothing really important. just a bunch of venting and stuff but i'll spare you for now. but last weekend me and my mom went to kohl's and i bought this pretty big picture frame and it holds 12 photos so i neeeeed to take some pictures for that. i love it so much. i need more picture frames in here. other than that...there's nothing really going on in my life. so peace out.

xoxo

i remember every word you told me. i cant stop thinking about it.

spring break '10!!

alrighty well this spring break has been the most memorable one i've had so far. i spent friday -sunday *March 5th-7th* with logan, ashleigh, sheri, and matt. we stayed at logan's parents' time share it was really nice and awesomeee. friday when we got there we went to downtown disney i believe? and we had lunch at "house of blues" and our waitress was so awesome that we gave her a 50% tip!!! hahaa. then we went back to the condo and met up with sheri and matt for an hour or so and walked around the condo place and chilled at the johnny depp pool area. Saturday we hit up the parks. 3 to be exact. you can bet your ass we were tired. first park we went to was mgm then epcot then magic kingdom. where we ended our day at the parks with beautiful fireworks after that we went out to dinner at tgi fridays which was yummy of course and then we went home and crashed. and woke up early on sunday cause we had to check out and had plans to go have breakfast with logan's family. which was very yummy. but they were on camping grounds...to be honest...i dont think i'm the camping type girl hahaa.

but after that logan drove me to my cousins and i stayed with them till saturday night. during the week *monday-thursday* i either went to work with my cousin Christina or stayed home or they took the day off or came home early. thursday was so much fun though! christina, her boyfriend (james), james's sister (maria), and her boyfriend (josh) went out for karaoke and it was so much fun!! lol. and one of those days that i was at the mall Jade came by to see me! i havent seen her since last year for my birthday. =p and then on friday and saturday i spent with my cousin ricky. all in all i had a great spring break and would love to spend more weekends with ashleigh, logan, matt, and sheri. i dont remember the last time i had such a great and fantastic time at theme parks. of course when i came home sunday i already had plans with ashleigh and logan to go get sushi at nippon. btw, i'm blonde now hahaa. everyone was shocked when i came home because it was a surpriseeee.

then monday...i went to class and went and got sushi with ashleigh and logan again lol. then tuesday...i went to class, went to the shop, and then went home took a quick nap and took my car to get it's oil changed. after that i went to the mall with patricia. then TODAY chris and kiara came over for a bit before i had to go to class. after class i went and got sushi with lydia and patricia and after met up with ashleigh and brittany and later on logan at starbucks. so yeahh there's about the last two weeks of me life. sorry that i'm falling behind on this. not that you care or anything. ANYWAYS, peace until next time.

xoxo

Every once in a while people step up, they rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you, and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard, but if you look close enough you find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song, and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, and if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.

Venting

so this week has kinda sucked. as you know i dont have my car so i've been driving my dad's mercedes. and to be honest...i absolutely HATE this car. lol. it's just not my type of car. but whatever. this post isnt exactly gonna be like the normal post. i'm venting today. so if you're not in for some negativity then just leave now.

alrighty...where to start...well to start off i've lost a few friends recently. why? i have no idea. i'm guessing either we've just become too busy or our schedules collide and we dont have time for each other. or we just grew apart. or i did something wrong and i didnt realize it? but whatever. if you dont tell me about it then it becomes your problem not mine. i could care less if you invite me to places or not but if you got a problem with me tell me. dont keep it to yourself because then i cant help you.

next...hmmm...i guess you could say i've been thinking about the past a lot lately. thinking about how i could have done things differently. stopping things before they were gonna happen. to be honest, i need to learn how to trust my gut instinct more. because 90% of the time it's right. like i could've prevented the whole cheating thing *i know i should be over it* but i keep on thinking to myself "you let this happen, if you had just listened to yourself this wouldnt be". but dont get me wrong, i'm completely over the flithy cheating bastard. i just wish i stopped it before it started. that's what is mostly on my mind these days.

school is a major stress issue for me. there's so much homework and crap to do i feel overwhelmed and shit. now that i think of it, i've never worked so hard or tried so hard. so i know for a fact that i've changed my attitude towards my studies. even though it stresses me out i dont hate it as much as i used to.

a thing i need to learn though is not to have my guard up all the time. i have so much kept inside of me and sometimes i barely think of myself and my feelings and then i just feel overwhelmed and it all comes at once and then i just lash out at my friends and family. and they dont deserve that. so sorry if i've been a bitch to you or whatever lately.

i guess that's all i can think of right now...there will probably be more of these down along the lines of my blogging but this is it for now.

on the bright side, spring break is reallll soon and i'm gonna have a blast. orlando bound baby.

Who you are is who you are. We're liars. We're thieves. We're addicts. We take our happiness for granted until we hurt ourselves or someone else. We hold grudges. And when faced with our mistakes, we reinvent the past. We reinvent ourselves. At least we try. We're prideful, and we're lustful, and we're incredibly flawed. And eventually, our flaws catch up to us.

What Are We Waiting For?

what a weekend. hahaa. for starters, i dont have my car until further notice hahaa. now dont jump to conclusion and think the worst. i didnt get in an accident or anything. my transmission broke. and i didnt do it! so dont assume that i did. it was just old and needed a new one. so it's at acura waiting to get fixed and whatever. so here's the story on that. for the past week or so when i'm at a stop and then i go...my rpm would shoot up and my speedometer wouldnt move so then it would jerk forward. i brought it to my brother friday at ed morse honda and i told him what was going on and before he even tested it he knew what it needed. so then he calls my dad and lets him know. and my dad being the smart ass that he is wanted me to drive to acura because i had an appointment there anyways to get my airbags checked. but my brother said no because he was afraid i wouldnt make it. so then i drove home. i was so scared. because it got worse and worse as i went. eventually my engine light turned on and my gear light started flashing. i was flipppping out. by the time i got to my brother in law's house my dad wanted me to drive to acura with my bro in law following me. but luckily he re thunk that and got a tow truck instead, thank god. i basically spent my day at my brother in law's place and then that night took my dad's car out for a few hours. and let me tell you, me getting to drive my dad's car is a big deal. apparently, no one else has driven his car hahaa. but that night i went out to dinner with logan and ashleigh. and i also brought along my niece and my cousin. after dinner we went to starbucks and just hung around there for a while then went home.

then saturday...i went to lunch with logan and ashleigh and we went to go look for bathing suits. then i was dropped off at home. stayed home for a few hours and then logan came back to pick me up to go to dunkin donuts with him ashleigh and brittany. then after an hour and a half of that i went home and packed my things to go to my brother's house to spend the night.

today was a reallyyyy lame day. i pretty much slept alllll day. and didnt get home until...5 ish? and i chilled at home for a couple of hours and took my dad's car to go out for a couple of hours. i went to starbucks and waited a bit for anthony, logan, brittany, and ashleigh. and after a bit Chris surprised me by showing up. we all had a blast and was laughing our asses off. so it pretty much made my weekend. tonight was just an awesome night and i wouldnt trade it for anything. hope you guys are enjoying yourselves.

xoxo

God doesnt give you the people you want. he gives you the people you need to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you into the person you're meant to be.

i say have your own style and create your own significance in this world. it’s time you stop being other people and start being you

sooo it's been a little over a week and i'm sorry i'm not keeping up with this. i've just been so busy with school and stuff that it completely slipped my mind. but since i dont remember what went down wednesday or thursday i'm gonna start with friday which was...the 19th of february. belly dancing class was cancelled because they were re doing the floors so of course i slept in. i dont really remember what i did during the day. but that night i went out with logan, ashleigh, brittany, and anthony. with a special guest! my nephew matthew! hahaa. we went out for sushi and after went and got ice cream. matthew loved them. especially logan. they really clicked hahaa. after ice cream we all went to starbucks for a bit and hung out there. then i took matthew to blockbuster to rent a movie and get some junk food. so all in all Friday was great for me. =]

Saturday i basically spent with family. had a blast of course. ate more than i could handle lol. then sunday i went to fort lauderdale with my parents and my sister Kathy for them to do their taxes. after they did all that we went out for lunch and then headed home. that night i met up with logan, ashleigh, brittany, and anthony at logan's pool. me and ashleigh went for a swim while everyone else sat on the side to put they're feet in cause they're WIMPS lol. after though everyone but britt went to mickie d's to grab some grub. and that's basically my sunday

monday...i dont think i did much from what i remember. chris came over for a bit. he ate. i showered. then we left to go to chris's house for a bit and then i left for class...and then after class me and logan went to go grab something to eat before his next class and then after that i went home and took my mom to wal mart and publix. tuesday i had my afternoon class and then after...i dont remember what i did...but i do remember taking a nap...i think? lol idk. and then today! i hung out with chris and kiara for an hour or so at his house and then left for my night class. after, i went out for sushi with patricia. then after that i went to my brother's house to meet up with my mom and hung out there for a bit then went home. so there's what happen in the past week lol. i swear i'm gonna be keeping up with this better. i promiseeee!! hope you guys are doing well.

xoxo

behind my smile, is a hurting heart. behind my laugh, i'm falling apart. look closely at me and you'll see a damaged girl hidden behind the most ridiculous disguise